How much longer? A question that we ask about many things. Whenever I’m working out I check the DVD that I’m following or check the treadmill to see, “how much longer?” On vacation we may think “How many more days do we have left to enjoy or “How much longer?” Our kids certainly love to count down the time left before vacation, before Christmas or before we arrive somewhere. Right now I’m in the stage of seeing the end in sight of homeschooling my oldest and I’m watching the inner clock count down.
As my older boys are getting close to graduation I find that I want to pour into them things that will help them in all their relationships. So, over the past 2 years I’ve been reading slowly to them from great books and I’ve been enjoying learning myself. One great book I’ve been reading and sharing with them from lately is John Maxwell’s book, “Winning With People”. On the cover it states that it’s basically ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People for the 21st Century’. We read that book also by Dale Carnegie. But I do believe that John Maxwell’s book is a little more relatable to us.
In John Maxwell’s book, “Winning With People”, he shares a very simplistic way of understanding types of people. Now this isn’t about personality but more about your choices of who you are. There are 4 behavior types of people according to Maxwell: Adders, Subtractors, Multipliers and Dividers.
Adders work to add something of value to other people’s lives.
They focus on what they can give or do for another. D.L Moody advised people to “Do all the good you can, to all the people you can, in all the ways you can, as long as ever you can.” To add value to someone you have to do so intentionally. It takes thought, purpose and even sacrifice. I want to always think, how can I add to this person; not, what can I get from this person.
People naturally subtract by default.
If you aren’t intentionally adding then you are probably subtracting. This type of person is a burden. We tend to avoid being around people like this unless we have a very unhealthy self -image and seek out these types. Being a subtractor is easy. It’s the same as someone building an intricate Lego creation vs a 2 year old who tears it down easily. Building takes time, skill and intention. Tearing it down doesn’t take skill at all.
Multipliers go above the adders.
You have to be “intentional, strategic and skilled. The greater the talent and resources that a person possesses, the greater the potential to become a multiplier.” States Maxwell. This is what I am trying to achieve with my kids. I am trying to be intentional, strategic and hopefully skilled to make a big difference of good in their life. I’m trying to help them maximize their potential in many areas of life.
Dividers are destructive.
They are hurtful destructive people who are typically unaware of their destruction but wonder why they are so alone.
Maxwell states the following: “Adders-we enjoy them, Subtractors –we tolerate them, Multipliers- we value them and Dividers-we avoid them.”
He has so much more to say to help you consider how you can lift others up. This is just one small excerpt from one chapter in the book. But, it’s a real lesson in life that’s helped me to better understand some relationships that I’ve had with all different types of people throughout life. We’ve also been discussing things from the Ziglar show and quotes from Zig Ziglar. I’ve enjoyed learning and reading from different books on principles for life. Even more fun is to share this with my kids and know that they are getting a boost up in life just from learning these things so early on.
Do you have a book that has changed your life for the better and you wish you had read it at a younger age? If so, please share with me!
I want to focus on being an adder and multiplier.
What about you?